|In the words of Queensryche....
||[Nov. 14th, 2004|01:36 am]
|||||Kiss Me - Sixpence None The Richer||]|
"It's starting to hit me like a....two ton....heavy thing"....
A flash of....I don't know what the hell it was.
Yes I do. Something I don't recall feeling for a very long time.
Real, honest to god distrust. Just for a moment.
It brought a song to mind. Just parts of it, mind you.....but clear as a bell...
Push - Matchbox 20
She said I don't know if I've ever been good enough
I'm a little bit rusty
And I think my head is cavin' in
And I don't know if I've ever been really loved
By a hand that's touched me
And I feel like something's gonna give
And I'm a little bit angry
She said I don't know why you would ever lie to me
Like I'm a little untrusting
When I think that the truth is gonna hurt you
And I don't know why you couldn't just stay with me
When my face don't seem to want to shine
It's a little bit dirty
Well, don't just stand there sayin' nice things to me
Cause I've been cheated and I've been wronged
And you, you don't know me
Hi, Holly...guess what? You *didn't* know if you'd ever been good enough. You know now. You were never untrusting. It was actually a symptom of your own need to be accepted. Dumbass....you just had to accept yourself. You washed your face. I haven't been cheated. I haven't been wronged. I cheated myself. And they don't know you. You didn't know yourself. How could they know you when you didn't know yourself?
Here I had gone a whole week without digging in my own brain. This was just a flash. A flashback from a bad drug trip, if you will. I'm sure they will lessen. Can't turn on a dime, you know....
Oh, hi guys...Yeah, I'm talking to myself. Don't mind me. Just a momentary lapse into the world of "What the fuck was that and where did it come from???"
You know, I've been going to bed by midnight. Maybe I really do turn into a pumpkin.
All that in an instant. Kinda wonky, isn't it? But, like a minor case of indigestion...it passed.
Time for bed.