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Sichernde_Seele

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Day 2.... [Aug. 4th, 2004|01:00 am]
Sichernde_Seele
[mood |accomplishedaccomplished]
[music |Blues Traveler - Hook]

Yeah, I promise I won't do a "Day X of Employment at Eatel" for the rest of my term there...but for now, I'm gonna give updates. :)

My phone didn't arrive today. They must have been busy. Of course, 15 minutes after I said "Man, this mouse sucks", I had a brand new optical mouse. So I'm not gonna complain too much about the phone. *giggle*



I did not get removed from the umbilical cord today. For those that aren't in the business, that's the two way split cord that has my "trainer" on the other end. So Wayne was semi-present and accounted for. At some point, I stole the phone of of Nathan's desk and got it working so I could sit at my own desk. Wayne's is...well...it's covered. With stuff. Just stuff. Everywhere. I felt it would be better for me to get comfy at my own desk with my own client running, etc. So, I made it happen.

About 4 hours into my day I turned around and said "Wayne, dude, if I need help, I'll ask, but you're throwing me off track". See, I can hear him in my headset. And it either distracts me from what the customer is saying, or makes me stop mid-sentence to go "huh?". Anywho...Once I was at my own desk, that was somewhat alleviated by the wonderful use of IMs. At some point he said "I'm sorry, I am just used to people thinking I'm leaving them all alone to deal and they freak." I assured him that I wouldn't "freak". It was all good.

Now, yesterday, I think everyone was kinda quiet as they didn't quite know what to think of the "new girl". You know, do I have a sense of humor, are they gonna have to watch what they say? That sort of thing. Today, as I walked in and said "Where's my phone? Wayne, who's ass I gotta kick?" everyone relaxed a bit. Wayne started picking on me. I said "So, am I doin' okay?"....the reply was "No". "Okay, just so you realize that you'll be cleaning up my mess later...."

The atmosphere is nice. The night shift (1:30pm - 10pm) consists of 5 people on the weeknights. Weekends there is no team lead or supervisor. Our sup leaves at 5 on the weekdays. Wayne is team lead. Willie is leaving and going to day shift. It's a small place. Relaxed and I find it funny that they keep asking me about problems with AIM. I'm like "Dude, we didn't support AIM. It's a free service. If you're on AOL and you have a buddy list problem, they paid us to fix that. They didn't pay me to fix your free shit!!!" If you get stumped, stand up and say "Hey, anyone ever hear this one?". Or, just send someone an IM.

I found out I get a whopping shift differential of .75 cents a shift. .25 cents per hour from 7 till 10. That shit adds up, man. *Laff*. I'm eligible for medical after 90 days. I get holiday pay, overtime, and 16 hours per calendar year of unpaid school conference leave. COOL! I'm also eligible for an account at the Telco Credit Union. Wahoo!

Got my work schedule. They have it where you have one weekday off every other week. So this week I'm off Friday and Sunday, next week Saturday and Sunday. Sunday will be my day off every week and then I'll alternate Fridays and Saturdays every other week. Make sense?

End of day 2....

...Other stuff...

Mom dropped the kids off last night. Told Logan she was impressed with our neighborhood. "I never see any cars parked in the street here. It's a good place for the kids"...Okay, coming from Mom, that's major. Then she had to go and fuck it all up. When Logan stated that he was proud of me for the job and how I've been doing and all, Mom said "Yeah, she has no problem getting where she wants to be. She's always done that well. She just never can stick with anything." Now, I'm not gonna lie. This has been a major truth of my past. Thing is, I'm so much more comfortable with myself now. I know where I'm going. That feeling of "searching" has stopped.

I don't feel this constant tugging to be somewhere else. I've even kinda lost interest in my escapist pleasures like MMORPGs. I still like games. I just don't need to immerse myself in them 24/7. So, I guess it's a "just you wait and see" kind of deal.

Now the funny part. Mom mentions that she's picking the kids up Wednesday around noon. She's gonna go get Morgan's hair cut. Morgan pipes up with "JUST the bangs, Nana. If you get anything else cut, Mommy will have a stroke!!!" HAHAHA...I love my daughter. Although, I do intend to get it cut this week. I was thinking one of those cuts where it's kind of stacked in the back and comes down a little longer in front. That's fairly "normal" and I think that style looks really good on my baby girl.

So, enjoying job. Kids are ready for school. Things are going well. *sings* "I'm goin' to Disneyland"


Sleep well my dear readers. Tomorrow shall prove to be just as fun an exciting!!! HAH!
linkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: jaylana
2004-08-04 08:02 am (UTC)
Don't be too hard on your mom, Holls. She has your entire lifetime of experience with you. I know a lot has changed, you may even find that some things have, and some things haven't. But SHE is looking at it from the outside. How many times have you said "I'll see it through, don't worry" and then not (for whatever reason). At this stage of the game the fact that the reasons were important at the time doesn't matter. The fact that you let it stop you (as opposed to just slowing you down) is what she sees. And no matter how crazy our mothers make us, they do only want us to have the things we want/need.

That finishing things issue is one I've had to struggle with. It'd be a lot easier to walk away from things sometimes. I think you're ready to dig in your heels. Just don't forget to do that on the important (read: really hard fuckers) parts, too. School, for instance. I know circumstances have changed, but it doesn't negate that you need to make some decisions on your future.

Eventually you want/need to be able to care for your family financially without relying on outside assistance. In order to do that you need a career, something that you will enjoy for the rest of your life. Not just that, but something that will pay you enough to live comfortably. I know how big your family is, and what it costs to feed and clothe them. I have one! And the harsh reality is it will take a good bit of money to do that and then see them through college.

Start making your decisions today. Do you remember Jon Helmic? He pushed me constantly. Make a decision. Make it happen. It's your life. Why do you say "I want to go back to school"? Why don't you say "I'm going back to school"? He taught me something vital. If I do nothing, nothing will change. If I first make a choice, then take steps to make that decision happen, it will.

Now, it doesn't matter what is. I make a choice on it. Then I follow that decision. Even choosing not to decide is a choice, and a right poor one. It is better to choose wrong than to let someone else choose for you. At least if you choose wrong you can change your fucking mind. If people don't like your choices, they don't HAVE to. They are your choices to make. (Yes, it's similar to "those are you kids to fuck up, the rest of the world can go get fucked")

Anyway, enough of that for the day. I have homework to do!
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[User Picture]From: sichernde_seele
2004-08-04 09:09 am (UTC)
I suppose I understand those feelings more coming from you, or Nathan, or Logan. In particular, it's my mother.

Those that know her, understand why she's not got a place to speak like that to others about me.

She never had to work hard for anything. She likes to berate those who do work hard. She likes to minimize that they are doing anything, then whine about her part time job working in retail. She likes to tell me how to raise my kids, even though she didn't do much with us. When we were sick, she didn't take care of us. She made sure we "suffered" for missing a day of school or told us how we ruined her plans for the day.

She had 2 kids. 5 years apart. She says "Three kids is hard", but it's not a compliment. It's a put-down. She gets on the phone with her friends and tells them that "Holly really needs to XYZ", etc.

She consistantly lies in wait for the chance to say "I told you so" or "Well, if you'd done this"....yet, she has no experience.

She's spent 40 years spending my dad's money and taking everything everyone tells her and saying "Okay", but not listening. Then she listens to what the Jones' think and throws it into everyone else's life. Like we really give a rat's ass about what so and so is doing. "Well, so and so's daughter works at Wal-Mart and makes good money"....I don't care.

The reason I have such a serious problem with it at this point is that I've not asked her for anything. She wasn't happy about me moving back. I've not asked her to keep the kids. She begs to come and get them or for me to bring them by. I go by, I get an earful of bullshit. I choose not to put up with it. I don't live there, I'm not asking for her help, I won't be berated by her. I just won't do it.



*whew* Sorry, didn't mean to go off on a 3 page gripe about the bitch, but that's her, in a nutshell. I can understand the people who truly care and have watched me nearly drown for years now. Her, I can't. She doesn't do it out of love. I can promise you that.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: jaylana
2004-08-04 11:29 am (UTC)
Eh, we've had this conversation. What she thinks is not what is. Only you know the difference in the end.

Unfortunately for us and our children, everyone can only use what they think in order to live. What's best is forever a question of preception.
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[User Picture]From: yarha
2004-08-04 11:08 am (UTC)
It's too bad 'STFU, Mom, you n00b' doesn't work. ;)

Yarha, Parents Want What's Best for Us or What They Think is Best for Us?
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[User Picture]From: yarha
2004-08-04 12:42 pm (UTC)
P. Larkin (poet laureate) has a poem on parenting:

This Be the Verse

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.

Yarha, And So It Goes
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